Chris Pratt challenges my moral values.

I know it’s (most likely*) edited, and I do not support the stigma photoshopping causes young and/or impressionable people (hey, I’m one myself – impressionable, that is), and I’m also very pro-equality and against the slap-the-secretary-on-the-butt-to-make-him-or-her-feel-“appreciated”-mentality, but Chris Pratt is looking SO HOT on the cover of GQ!

*Disclaimer: Pratt may not have needed airbrushing. I’m just assuming that this is somehow mandatory when it comes to magazine covers et al.

Image via Celebuzz

Chris Pratt for GQ

Image via Celebuzz.

A moment of silence

A moment of silence for the infinite number of spiders who yearly suffer death at the hands of humans due to poor education.

Adding “Where to Weave” to the curriculum in elementary schools, and making it mandatory, would save thousands upon thousands of lives each year.

Instead they’re spending much needed resources on classes such as “Creative Webbing” and “Yoga for You”.

(It proved a bit of a challenge to find a “cute” spider that didn’t terrify me.)

Thoughts that currently occupy my mind

(Because all of the important ones just seem to flee through the figurative fingers of my mind.)

1) I find it troublesome that thoughts like “Is drinking blood to vampires what taking Viagra is to humans?” takes up space in my head. Even more so that I could, probably easily, write a medium length paper based solely on above pondering.
And have a decent chance of getting it published in a “more or less” not-not-serious magazine.

I mean, vampires are, by definition, a “being who subsists by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures”¹ – of living creatures (mostly humans, but there are, supposedly, less picky ‘pires, too), indicating that they – vampires – are, ipso facto, dead.

Without having had any actual experience of being dead myself, I can only make assumptions, but that has never stopped me before, has it?, (rhetorical question), and so, here is my thesis:

Even though there are different definitions of what being dead means, and I’m not just talking zombies v. vampires, but also the possibility of life support, steampunk and the Frankenstein Formula of Reanimation Through Lightning (FFoRTL for short), but when it comes to vampires – as well as zombies, which is why the issue of blood still pumping through the reanimated bodies of deadheads is just that; an issue – their hearts do not beat. And if the heart dost not beat, thither can be nay blood pumping through their veins², as Shakespeare would, likely, have put it, had he written a play about vampires. (I wonder if Shakespeare was a believer?)

And as we all should know, even with just the most basic biological knowledge, the rush of blood to the phallus (that’s a fancy word for penis), is what causes an erection and since a vampire, who has not recently fed, should be lacking in blood, this phenomena should not be possible. Ergo, the reason behind the madness of my mind has been disclosed.

And here I was thinking I’d have to write at least a medium lenght paper to make my point!

2) Pondering how much studying is involved in getting an online ordination. Would it require me to read the whole of the Bible? New and Old Testament? Would there be a final exam? Pop quizzes? Would I have to convert to Catholicism? I don’t have anything against Catholicism, per se, especially not with the new pope (Pope with a capital P?), but I sort of have my own religion that I adhere to, I just like the idea of having all of my bases covered.
Would I be allowed to absolve my own sins? I mean, I would, but would it count? Like, would the Chief Upstairs accept my own absolvements?

3) I bet early man kind was really into practical jokes.
Ok, so this one’s more of a joke, but I can’t stop giggling to myself about it. Though, it’s not funny if you have to explain and political correctness is the vampire of fun.

Watch it, love it, get addicted!

Speaking of “discovering things” (mentioned in my last post, about being diagnosed with RRMS): a little while ago, I was poking around IMDb in search of zombie related stuff to watch now that The Walking Dead has gone on to its Summer hiatus – or, as it has become known as via Supernatural‘s ditto; Hellatus – and found something… Well, very different. The only common denominator is that both shows features zombies. And are shows…
Again, very different zombies.

The show I’m referring to is called iZombie and centers around Liv, whom, due to unforeseeable events, was turned into a zombie while on a party boat. I know, bummer, right? You go to a party on a boat and there’s an outbreak of zombiism. Who’d’ve thought it?

Liv, portrayed by the pale beauty Rose McIver, does what any self-conscious-with-a-conscience-zombie-with-a-medical-degree would do, and gets herself a job at the morgue.
(It’s an all-you-can-eat-buffet, isn’t it? I mean, if you’re, literally, into brainfood. I don’t care if you think that was an inappropriate pun, it was a good one.) 

Anyway, the show’s hilarious! And I honestly never thought I’d hear myself say so with such elation! I mean, I have issues with zombies with minimal thinking capacity (which is one of several reasons why I utterly loathe Land of the Dead), and the so called neo-zombies of 28 Days Later (I’m not even sure that they’re ever referred to as “zombies”, because I’ve never been able to make it through the entire movie – almost, but not quite). Technically, I’m not even a fan of zombies who bleed – since they shouldn’t be able to, since they’re dead, meaning no heartbeat, meaning no blood circulation, meaning no blood splatter. This I have come to accept because it is a MAJOR effect and is used wisely in The Walking Dead.

But iZombie succeeds where others have failed (not counting Dead Snow, because I actually like both it and its sequel), especially since I think it brings something entirely new to the table full of pureed neural tissue.
Being a zombie, Liv does have to eat braaaaaains (her vocabulary does consists of more than “braaaaaaains” and different moan-noises), and here’s part of what makes the show special; when eating a brain, Liv “takes on” personality traits of the victim (remember that I said that she works in a morgue!); some… “better” than others.

So, in conclusion: watch it, love it, get addicted!

Yikes!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Umm. Stuff’s happened. Things were discovered (sadly, no map leading to a secret treasure, though I’m still hoping). Dices were rolled. Chances taken.
Well, no. Not really. While chances were technically involved, none were taken, per se.

Last week, Thursday, I was diagnosed with (the mildest) form of MS. That’s Multiple Sclerosis, for the non-initiated, which up until a few years ago, included me. Then I happend across a novel (I kid you not when I say that I searched for the title for at least 15 minutes; remembering full well bits and pieces of the story, but not the author’s name nor the novel’s title – it’s about a woman, I think her name was Maggie, who had a cheating husband – side note – who used to swim several laps every morning (Maggie, not the husband), until she suddenly started fumbling with her keys, started laughing uncontrollably whilst visting/spying on her husband who was in the middle of a final plea in the courtroom; was diagnoses and rapidly got worse, until her mother made good on her promise to not let her daughter become a burden on the rest of the family – sheesh, Google, was that not detailed enough for you?!)

Anyway, by mildest I mean the type called RRMS (relapsing-remitting MS), meaning that I’ll get so called relapses which will, after some amount of time, revert (remit).
Most likely I’ve had it for years, without the diagnosis. That’s today’s medical care for ya. Not that it actually matters in my case, since I haven’t been permanently… damaged? Affected? I’ve got no permanent impairment, and I realize that I am indeed very lucky to not have it worse, and to have such a supportive family as I do (I owe you a larger debt than I’ll ever be able to repay).
My heart goes out to those suffering from the worse types of MS.

As for me, I’ll be put on anti-retroviral medication.
And I have a pretty neat nurse – his explanation of MS was that somehow my “DNA got some information backwards”.

(I do that ↑ a lot anyways.)

What about second breakfast?

Living with a foodie (in shape of a cat), is, I imagine, a little like sharing a smial w/ a hobbit.

Cat in question: *meows incessantly* – in, I can only assume as it is quickly followed by a mad dash to the kitchen, dire hunger.

Me: No, you had breakfast not even an hour and a half ago.

Cat (and there might be a slight question of interpertation, I’ll admit): We’ve had one, yes. But what about second breakfast?

(And no, Mom, I am not starving my cats.)

Img via WeHeartIt

Caution, for those not yet there, | may contain spoilers

I’ve just finished watching the last episode of season 5 of The Walking Dead, and I’m pretty heartbroken – for a multiple of reasons, like: A) The cliffhanger wasn’t half as spectacular as I had expected (in my opinion, Coda was waaaay tougher to suffer through and would’ve made such a horrificly amazing cliffhanger); B) I’m still not onboard the whole Rick + Jessie ship (and probably won’t ever be; incredibly pretty as she may be, I prefer him single… Or, like, give me that particular role…), but Pete‘s stunt made it possible (and seriously, dude, did no one ever tell you not to play with sharp objects, especially while under any kind of influence?); C) REG! I really, really, really liked Reg, and it just doesn’t seem fair, especially considering his bond with Noah, his positive influence over Deanna and, fine, the Monroe family’s recent loss of Aiden, whom I did not care for (but thought he was totes cute) and D) the W A I T. Seriously, October? I’m likely to become a Walker/Biter myself if I have to wait for that long.

I was (…am) contemplating re-watching the first seasons, but oh my gosh, LORI. Some people claim that Andrea was the most hated charcter of TWD – until Father Gabriel – but I have to disagree. Lori beats Andrea by miles and miles and miles

On the possibly positive side, something I found equally amusing and distracting was the fact that you could totally tell that Sonequa Martin-Green was VERY pregnant during the last couple of episodes (she gave birth to a boy in January). In fact, in this, the last ep. of season 5, confusingly – and possibly misleadingly – named Conquer, it was almost ridiculuous.
The beautiful Sonequa (Sasha), wore Bob‘s military (?) jacket to help with the cover up, to little, in my opinion, success, as well as a black t-shirt (because “we all know that black makes you look smaller” – unless you’re pregnant), carrying around big weapons, being filmed either from a “working” angle or from above the baby bump.
My favorite “amusing/distracting” moment was when she laid down on top of the dead Walkers she was busy burying.

Anyway…

Some might call it a mean streak…

Personally I prefer calling it a good sense of humor. To each his or her own!
(See, I suspect that my brother’ll probably be leaning more towards mean streak than a good sense of humor.)

The eldest of my two brothers (to quote – or possibly paraphrase? – a bit of lyric that I have, apparently, misheard since the mid 90’s, “I’m the baby of the bunch”, from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch‘s Good Vibrations, so I get away with… a lot), is terribly at keeping in touch. It can literally go months before he remembers that he said, in December, that’d he’d “call you next week”.

Of course Mom, my other brother or myself could all remind him, but we’ve done that so many times that most of us have just “given up” (i.e. wait for him to actually remember that he has a mother and two siblings, too, apart from a wife and two sons).

The day before yesterday, Mom had asked me if I realized that it had now gone three months since my brother had said he’d call “the next week”. Which is probably why I decided that it was about time that someone did remind him. At least this one more time.

So I called him, reaching only his voicemail (and I would’ve been very surprised if he’d actually picked up, to say the least; I might actually have had a coronary!). Of course I left a voicemail:

“Hi Anders. This is Erica… You know, your sister, in case you’d forgotten… Umm, did you know that there are 417 people with the same name as you and you’re one of the few with no number listed? Just found that interesting, is all.
…Anyway. I was just calling to hear if you’re still alive. If you are, and you get this message, umm, maybe you could… I don’t know… Call back? Bye.”

I wasn’t expecting him to call back during the weekend, he very rarely does. But it was as if Lucifer (the charming one from Supernatural [gif] ), was sitting right next to me and begging me to pay attention to him, saying he had this really great idea. And all it would cost me was my soul.
So, I decided to send him –  my brother, not Lucifer –  a text, too, you know, to remind him. Again. This afternoon.

“Not to be that person, ’cause I’m not – I’m most certainly not that person, most certainly not! – but it might be so that there’s a pretty penny on the line… You see, I MIGHT’VE mentioned (as a joke – at least it started out that way), that maybe you’d been bitten by a vampire, and due to a drastically changed sleeping routine, are no longer ABLE to to get in touch during the day OR that you are Patient Zero – or had been chewed on by said patient – and therefore no longer were able to use technical devices such as cell phones (I’m not saying that zombies, NECESSARILY, can’t use technology, but in movies and books they can’t, and that’s really all the fact I have at my disposal, so I’m hoping that if you ARE a tech-savvy zombie, that you’ll forgive my ignorance… If you’re able to read this, that is.) Anyway, the joke escalated and now there’s money on the line… So if you ARE a Living Dead, maybe you could just find a way to convey this somehow?”

A few hours later, I realized that I was having a lot of fun (probably more so than I should), and decided to send him another text. Just ’cause.

“P.S. If you ARE a vampire, are you more of a Gary Oldman’s aristocratic Dracula or Twilight’s… sparkling *brr* “vampire”?

I’m not saying that I won’t be seen in public with him, should he be of the sparkling variety, but I think we’d see a lot more of each other during cloudy days…
Not that we see each a lot as it is. (That’s for you, Anders, if you should find your way here.)